REAL TALK OF THE DAY

Women ....TRUST me a man that likes you is not that hard to spot. Neither is a man that doesn't if you're real with yourself.

Word Definitions

This series is just to help me to keep expanding my vocabulary.


PARSIMONIOUS frugal

CONVIVIALITY merry; festive

CORUSCANT giving forth flashes of light; glittering

CUDDLESOME suitable for or inviting cuddling. Also, cuddly

CUPIDITY eager or excessive desire, esp. to possess something: greed; avarice.

PENULTIMATE means second to last - as in LOSER

PERFIDIOUSNESS betrayal of a trust

PERSPICACIOUS having or showing penetrating mental discernment; clear-sighted

PROFICUOUS profitable; advantageous; useful

REMUNERATIVE serving and providing profitability

Role Models

Who do you admire?

As humans we are naturally emulators. From childhood, we fantasize about the lives of others and build upon what we see to create our own version of success. Like I have stated in previous blogs, my mother is a constant model of mine. Other people include Bessie Coleman, Corette Scott King, Nikki Giovanni, I could go on. So I always modeled my life after these particular women's traits, learning how to be strong, resilient, bold, yet not belligerent. I say this to say everyone stands on the shoulders of someone else. Usually role models are always talked about as healthy and positive experiences of tutelage, however as we follow this winding road of self discovery, you must learn how you got to this piece of your road. The best way to do that? Figure out what and who started you down this particular path.

1) Role models can be both positive and negative people:
People don't understand that the bad role models can be followed and followed somewhat easier than good role models. Bad role models don't push you as hard. If you're standing in the shadows of great men like MLK, Percy Julian, Bill Gates (they don't have to be Black!),Alfred Nobel, Albert Einstein, you are going to have to push yourself. Your role models mark your standards. If you have someone as your role model, you automatically define yourself as someone worthy and capable of creating like visions. So strive high. Don't take the easy road out with negative people and mediocre standards. The higher the ambition, the more likely that even if you don't achieve like greatness you will still be proud of your results. Like Kanye said: "Reach for the stars so if you fall, you land on a cloud."

2) Pick A Few Role Models:
Pick both a far away role model and a role model close to home. The people that I named above make for excellent role models for your bigger than life dreams. However for your everyday walk as a person, you'll need to find a role model at arms reach. A family member or parent is great for this. But even if you don't want to emulate a family member, there is a member of your life and community, a pastor, a professor, even a friend that can serve in that position. Your close to home role model is more of a person that you admire their everyday actions along with their goals and values. Ask yourself, who in my life is the type of person I'd like to be? That is your role model close to home. Then ask yourself, who has accomplished something overall similar to what I want to accomplish? That is your far away role model. You can have other role models as well. A role model strictly for your morality level. A role model for your spirituality level, etc. At the end of the day the point is to make yourself the best person you can possibly be by acknowledging and building on the wisdom of others in particular categories.

3) Role Models are not infallible and neither are you:
Role models are to be respected but not necessarily revered. They still make mistakes. As humans we tend to believe that people that make mistakes have nothing else good to teach the people around them. This is far from truth. For example, the Tiger Woods saga we've all seen unfold. Even after his mistakes, Woods can still be a role model for diligence and financial success, albeit maybe not a good one for fidelity and decency. :) That's why its a good idea to have several role models for different parts of your life. You also must be cognizant of the idea that you may not meet the lofty standards that role models can sometimes provide... does not mean you failed.

Role Models are simply people who have an aspect of life in which they excel in your eyes. They are necessary because they offer a way to see a potential path into the behaviors and successes you want. My mom always says: "To achieve what someone achieved you must study what they did to achieve it." Role Models are not an exact science on How to live your life but a guide in the right direction....And who doesn't want a map to where they want to go?

Hope this helps,
Classic

CAPITOL CAUSE EVENT:Top 30 Under 30 Young Professionals!

This is an Amazing Event Folks. Attend if you can! The Press Release is Below... Happy Sunday! - Classic

**Press Release**

Inaugural Reception Will Honor 30 Young Professionals in DC Area
Reception brings accomplished professionals, networking opportunities, and civic engagement under one roof for attendees

Washington, D.C. — Capital Cause in conjunction with the NMC Consulting Group will hold a reception honoring the Top 30 Under 30 Young Professionals in the Washington DC Metropolitan Area on Wednesday, March 31, 2010.

The event, which will include live jazz music by The Marcus Mitchell Project and Art by J Stacy Utley, will honor 29 young professionals within the Washington, DC Metropolitan area who have excelled in the areas of business, government, politics, education and the arts and were recognized by WKYS as a Top 30 Under 30. Capital Cause and the NMC Consulting Group will also announce the 30th honoree, who will be selected by their peers, from a pool of more than 30 nominations throughout the region.

The reception will include remarks by elected officials, business and community leaders, Jamal Simmons, CNN Correspondent and will include a resolution from the Council of the District of Columbia and a proclamation from the Mayor of the City of Alexandria honoring their awardees.

What: Capital Cause and NMC Consulting Group Present Top 30 Under 30 Reception

Who: Top 30 Under 30 Honorees:

Honorees include: Washington Redskins’s Devin Thomas; Mike Winans, Jr.; Natalie M. Cofield; Harold B. Pettigrew, Jr.; “Coach K” Amleset G. Kidane; Shawn Hay; Shayna Yvonne Rudd; Ryan Richmond; Pharoh Martin; William Lance Blake; Stephen Conti; Fred Howze III; Kimberly Smith; Courtney Maria Savoy; Avery Leake’ Lawrence Elliott Ball; Vallyn Lea Smith; Anthony Dale; Ryan J. Davis; Dontae Cunningham; Kimberly N. Wilson; Anthony Ajayi; Frank A. Bryant; Renaldo A. Chapman; Victoria “Shaqwana” Davis; Mahogany Woodland; Shanel Thomas; Marcus Mitchell.

Jamal Simmons, CNN Correspondent (confirmed)
Elected Officials
Business & Community Leaders
Where: Midtown Lofts, 1219 Connecticut Avenue, NW, WDC, 20009
When: March 31, 2010 – 6:30pm to 9:30pm
To RSVP: To purchase tickets or for more information regarding the event, please visit
www.capitalcause.com, or call/email Corey Ponder at 202-642-4287 or info@capitalcause.com.

A $20 advanced ticket grants attendees access to an enticing buffet, live music, art on display, and a wealth of networking opportunities.

About Capital Cause:
Capital Cause is an organization dedicated to engaging young professionals in the giving process. Capital Cause succeeds in doing this by organizing fundraisers, learning programs and financial literacy courses. Capital Cause will also competitively award grants to young professionals who are small business owners or graduate school students.
About the NMC Consulting Group, Inc.

NMC Consulting Group, Inc. is a boutique consulting firm that specializes in business development, public affairs and program management. The organization aims to effectively support its clients by developing and enhancing economic development, entrepreneurship, and community‐related programming. For more information, please visit www.nataliecofield.com.

Word Definitions

This series is just to help me to keep expanding my vocabulary.

noology - study of intuition and comprehension

solecism - error in grammar or wording

blarney - flattery designed to gain favor

vernorexia - a romantic mood inspired by Spring

copacetic - good or even excellent

acquiesce - satisfy

Love Defined

Love is one of those topics that everyone becomes increasingly interested in as we grow. Its this idea of an emotion that is so strong it connects us with the object of our affection. Its strength is our curiosity and its attainment is our quest. Humans want to be loved. We have an innate thirst for it. As Mother Theresa so eloquently put it:There is more hunger in the world for love and appreciation in
this world than for bread. I am not here to put a definition on the word love. Quite the contrary, I love that it means so many different things to different people. It can be expressed and felt in countless ways. But I see alot of people mistaking other things for love as well. I wanted to share some observations I have made to help you craft your own definition of what is needed for you to love and be loved.


Love has levels. Love is different. Love needs a personal touch.
Every person you love should not and probably is not on the same level. For me, my love for God and my love for my parents are my oldest and strongest loves. But just because love has levels does not mean any level of love demeans the others, they are just different. The love you have for each person in your life has to be individually crafted. I love my friends, I love my family, I love humanity in general. I love people in Haiti, Korea, and China, I've never met before. Is it the same level as my mother? No. But that's ok. As you begin to open yourself to love, it encompasses your life. Opening yourself up to it brings in other emotions like empathy, compassion, hope, and fairness. After a while, people will be drawn to you because you can feel love on even the most basic of levels.

Love is not to be rationed.
I am always so thankful I grew up in a household of strong yet LOVING parents. I got constant love in both action and word form. It makes a difference. The world can be cruel and that great thing about love is that it can take an edge off the whippings of the world. So if you have someone that you claim to love, telling them how you feel and backing up those feelings should come often. Its great affirmation and sometimes after a bad day, its just needed. Love is one of those things you can't hold in. True love comes out, where it should be.

Love withstands time & distance.
In a finicky fair weather society, many people are claiming to love you yet you can't find them minutes after their revelation. Love is not a quick flame but a slow burn. If you find that when someone is out of your face, they no longer impact your thoughts or feelings, what you felt for them was probably along the lines of the feelings of conquest, passion, lust, or infatuation. Those fade. Love is an attachment you feel in any moment regardless of the space that separated you or the time apart.

Love isn't THAT hard.
Now this one is a biggie. If you find yourself in a constant struggle with an individual who is supposedly the object of your love and you theirs, you are probably dealing with a mimic emotion (I named them earlier: the feelings of conquest, passion, lust,infatuation, etc.) These emotions create the "warm fuzzy" feeling of love but one thing those cannot mimic is love's tranquility. When struggles arise, the mimic emotions make you even more confused and more agitated. Love, not only music ;), usually soothes the savage beast in us all. It makes us limit the damage we inflict on the other individual and weigh out consequences. Love is not confusion. Nor will it ever be.

Love goes hand in hand with other concepts. Love rarely acts alone and since love is so hard to spot on its own, you can look for its companions to help discern it from the mimic emotions. One companion concept of love is respect. Respect and love go hand in hand. I argue that love cannot exist without respect in its presence. Respect is defined as a feeling of appreciative, often deferential regard; esteem, I.e. preferential treatment. Respect is what keeps me from hurting an individual and love is the reason for the respect. Because if I don't respect the person that I love, what makes me love them?

Another concept is companionship. Companionship is just a fancy friendship. Its a little more complicated than a regular friendship because of the time and energy expelled. Just valuing time spent with that person above others is a great avenue for love. If you don't like conversing or spending time with your partner, how can you compile the path of emotions that lead up to the Big L?

The last concept is trust. Trust and love don't HAVE to coexist but its such a rockier road with it. Trust is often needed for love because it is trust that allows you to open your heart to receive and give the love. Its hard to love when you believe your partner is capable of ANYTHING under the sun. Though the two are almost mutually exclusive, but they often play on one another. Lack of trust can sometimes squeeze love to its barest minimum.

So, in world in which we don't like to take L's, I implore you to try love. Its a challenging venture regardless of the person you give it to but without it life is less colorful. It is our ability to love that gives us most of our happiness. So on your journey to love whether it be romantic or otherwise, take heed to my words so that you'll create love and be able to discern love from other emotions that have like hues. This topic is going to take me a few blogs to complete but as I sign off, I encourage you to just love humanity and everyone around you. As I stated love does not have to and should not be rationed. Give it freely. You may encounter some times when your love isn't returned but see if that same love doesn't eventually return to you.

I love you all. Hope this helps.
-Classic

Questions: Wifey Material

Every now and then I tackle questions to put my spin on issues I hear around the way. I was asked these two questions:What is wifey material? and why do men use it as an excuse to not be with someone? So ladies, lets examine shall we?

What is wifey material?
Well I know one thing, it is NOT necessarily wife material. Wifey is a noun created for women who are acting too closely to a position they have not and may never serve for a person. A wifey for all intensive purposes is a very tired, overworked girlfriend. Girlfriends and wives serve two diverging, distinct positions. A girlfriend shows her man who she is as an individual: the personality, the skills that make you the special woman that he needs. A wife is a more serving role as a husband is. Since both of you have combined your lives, you then function as a unit. The reason the faithfulness and service is not as hard as a wife is because of the halo of security a marriage brings. You are not only a wife but you have a husband. Wifey does not have a husband. I have seen girls berated for acting like girlfriends instead of wives when they have no rings and it is baffling. Because you cannot live with me, it is a bad thing? People that play house often don't get the house. Sounds to me like you need a wife and you haven't offered me that position. Who wants to do more work for less pay and benefits?

In my experience wifey material DOES NOT MATTER.
I know everyone is going to be up in arms about that one but let me explain. I did not say wifey material does not EXIST. There are women out there who possess qualities that make them more attractive as "wifeys", but those traits and that definition are like beauty- there's an undeniable "society standard" but most of it is in the eye of the beholder.

Men Do What They Want.
From what I have found, men still pick at the end of the day who they want whether they be societally "wifeable" or not. Women do not give men enough credit for this decision because men don't want the credit. Alot of times it is easier to say that a decision is due to either society or your lack of conviction instead of making a firm stand. The reason why its easier?-accountability. For example, not dating someone because society says they shouldn't be together or playing mum until the person leaves you places the responsibility of the situation in someone else's hands. I'm going to be real with you ladies for a second. A man that really wants you will stop at nothing to have you. A man who is on the fence will be the one with excuses. Yes, your man is romantic. Yes, your man could woo you. Yes, your man does know how to make you happy. If he is dragging his feet, it is certainly not because he does not know HOW. So if he isn't, what's the excuse?

EXCUSES
I've fallen for it before too but please believe that the excuses are just that. So next time you hear "Baby, I can't be with you because you are too good a woman for me", "Baby, I can't be with you because you're not wifey material," "Baby, I just am not vibing with you", know that these things have NEVER stopped a man before. For example, look at Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian. Sorry, but you would think a man with such a sweet demeanor and presence would never be caught dead with a proverbial porn star on his arm. Make you think? It should. Man will wife women with reputations, unattractive women, crazy women if that is what they WANT to do. So that only leaves what you allow yourself to be worth.

If Not Wifey Then What?
Women, we have got to create better standards for ourselves on how we want to be treated. We're so interested in conquering a man we forget to ask ourselves if we really want the spoils of war! Do you really want to be with a man that is just so so about you with no conviction? Do you really want to be "wifey material" when you could be more? Instead of focusing on the traits that could make a man fall in love, focus on traits that can make you fall in love with yourself. Being confident, having standards, and not backing from those standards will show the world and men how you should be treated and in turn you will be treated as such. Set REASONABLE expectations and if your expectations are not met, don't be afraid to leave. People will be able to see the dignity and class. You won't have to work so hard for "wifey respect." I meet amazing successful beautiful insightful women that are so desperate their actions paint them as lower than they should ever be classified. There is going to be a man out there that will at least try to move Heaven and Earth for you. And it will be because you are what he wants. If you do not have a man like that, chances are he would be like that with someone else and someone else would be like that for you. Don't block your true happiness.

We should all stop this quest to be wifey material and start the quest 2 other quests: the quest to make you the best you can be all the way around and the quest (if you're looking) for the man that loves you regardless. He will by default think you are worthy to be valued and honoured.

The question series is a littler harsher than the Information Series but hopefully, it has an audience. I always welcome comments and more questions for the blog. Follow me on twitter (kennedae) and follow the blog.

Happy Presidents Day & Hope It Helps!

-Classic